For years I have had moments in my life when everything just feels totally overwhelming. My mind hurts, body every inch of me is absorbed in this feeling. I was told by multiple GP’s it’s depression, but I didn’t feel that fitted. I wasn’t low I felt totally spent like all energy had gone.
Then I read about Autistic burn out!
Autistics (some not all) have ways to conform to so called “social norms” I realised this is what I was doing(with out knowing), taking on people’s persona mimicking them to fit in. This causes Autistic burn out, it takes so much mental energy.
But here is the rub – even though I now look “normal” even though I am autistic, it is too exhausting to maintain. I am noticing across my life that whenever I learned a new skill, the bar was set higher and I was, from that point forward, expected to always have that skill available and to use it even if using the skill depleted ongoing large amounts of personal resources(Judy Endow)
Autistic burnout is when you have no resources left all your ability to manage life becomes impossible. Finally I found what truly explained how I felt. I have to have total rest limit interaction, recharge build up the resources again.
I do not have a mental disorder, I am Autistic and need to understand myself, and allow myself to recover and recharge.
This feeling will pass I have to remember that.
Girls Autistic Journey~