Recognising negative life cycles

Possible trigger warning ⚠️

 

00584F0A-6592-4230-AB8E-FC6584E0C435

1. Feeling ok- life is good I am feeling positive and happy doing things that make me feel good;

like working out
eating well
sleeping well
spending time outside
spending time with family


2. Triggers- something comes into Autistics life that causes them to feel stressed or causes an unpredicted change in routine. Some Autistics don’t know how to manage this trigger or sometimes not even realising this is a trigger. This can lead to negative feelings;
feeling lost
scared
venerable
multiple other feelings and emotions.

3. Response- Some Autistics(definitely me) are now using Negative responses to cope and manage these feelings, I use food to block out the feelings and emotions to take my mind away from the triggers, and pick my fingers until they are sore. Some Autistics will have all different negative rituals that will be the response, for me it feels out of my control like a compulsion. This spiral of negative feelings can lasts hours, days, weeks even months.

4. Cycle starts again- I start to come out of the negative response and so it starts again.

I have been trapped in this cycle most of my life I am not sure if neurotypical(non Autistics) go through this, perhaps they do but I think like most situations Autistics feel this more intensely and for longer periods of times, as processing time takes longer for Autistics. I think Autistics have higher levels of anxiety so perhaps situations that bother and stress Autistics don’t stress neurotypical(non Autistics) why would Autistics experience these situation like neurotypicals as Autistics neurology is different.

Breaking the cycle

I have been thinking about this cycle for so long and so want to break this negative way of being, I think seeing triggers as triggers is the way to beat this. Dealing with the trigger understanding the trigger needs to happen rather than trying not to face difficult feeling and emotions, I need to face the triggers by using the positive part of the cycle, using the things that make me feel good. Keep this cycle out in view regularly look at the cycle and understand it is a learnt cycle, when triggers happen pick a positive experience from the list of things that make you feel good. Remember the negative feelings don’t work they don’t help! But the positive experiences do help! Will this be easy sometimes yes other times NO! is it worth trying to do do this YES! We need to empower the next generation of Autistics to not fall into this cycle, look at the cycles they are in and help them to rebuild the cycle and build a positive cycle.

Change is hard but I know doing what I am doing is feeding my triggers and it’s never made me feel better, what if the positive replacement works…….

 

Girls Autistic Journey~ 

 

 

Advertisements

Autistic Masking doddle

Autistic Masking

Girls Autistic Journey (kate) and Introvert Doddles teamed up and bought to life this ‘Autistic Masking’ doodle, and how Allistic (non Autistic people) can support and help Autistics. 

DB41149A-FEF5-4CB6-BE2E-4F2C95A334FE

 

1C188D0A-668C-4E5B-A22D-6DBBFCDB7EC8

Hope you found them helpful! 

 

Girls Autistic Journey~ 

Understanding Autistics

Autistics neurology is different to non Autistics this means Autistics process and understand the world and all with in the world differently.

This not wrong or a condition, people need to understand this in order to enable Autistics to live a healthy and full life.

STOP trying to force Autistics into a non Autistic way of living this is damaging, and does not work. Start to understand Autistics and how the world feels for Autistics, everyone wants to live a life that feels right for ones self. Not to be moulded or force into an unnatural way of living.

Please take some time to understand Autistics feelings, by doing this Autistics will feel calmer more happy, respected, valued, which will build a healthy and fulfilling lifestyle.

This will then allow relationships between non Autistics and Autistics to blossom and grow. These simple steps can be life changing for everyone!

 

You have a choice!

 

Girls Autistic Journey~

DDCDBB21-8ABE-4438-94DF-E8117FF87619

Autistics never give up!

Picture reads-
Never stop fighting for what you want to achieve

Picture By Ivy Gaster- 10 years old.

33E8280A-6EE7-409E-881E-3D5825B5E566

 

I don’t share much about Ivy (my child) but I loved this! Ivy did this piece of art  just before bed.

Never underestimate Autistics always think ability and respect Autistics.

 

Ivy Keep on inspiring! 

 

I am so pleased Ivy knows her dreams and wants can be with in reach, and that Ivy won’t just give up! 

 

 

Girls Autistic Journey~

You are overloading me please STOP!

CC83A709-2A24-47A9-8EEE-43741A834DC9
Picture Credit~ where’s my bubble 

 

so many Autistics must feel this way! totally overwhelmed!

 

please remember many Autistics need processing time and space to consider how they are feeling.

 

Everyone’s feelings are their own so when they are telling you they need space and feel overwhelmed, believe this is the TRUTH!

 

Please Slow down, be kind, think of  how Autistics are Processing this situation. 

 

Thank you!

 

Girls Autistic Journey~ 

 

 

Autistic inclusion- my Daughter

 

I don’t really talk so much about my daughter on my page, but I wanted to share this self portrait she did today.

The school she is in now is her 4th school placement(2 mainstream 1 special previously) her current school understands her needs, the staff respect her different way of experiencing the world. She doesn’t have to be bent or pushed into another way of being (neurotypical) she is her real self!

She is happy look at the picture, look at her smile 😊 she’s never drawn a school picture that’s happy!

E2F4E251-F635-4839-ADC4-7D734B67F3AC

Being in the correct environment and having the correct support team is critical! Never underestimate this!

Finally after 4 years of my daughter struggling, feeling lost, lonely, miss understood she’s in her words “Home”

I am so proud of you, you have endured so much and now it’s time to bloom and be you. ❣️

#acceptance #blooming #home

Girls Autistic Journey~

Autistic Masking

F5E72E5B-67C3-4B5D-B8D0-5A2F832EDDF8

Please be aware people of any gender identity might mask

1. Understanding Autistic Masking
Autistic Masking is when Autistics mimic and use social scripts, learnt from others, in order to fit in and to go unnoticed in the neurotypical world. Masking is not gender specific. Masking often becomes a way to cope in situations that are hard for Autistics to understand.

 

2. What does it look like?
Autistics might look to peers, for instance the way they dress, talk, play or communicate, and replicate this.
Autistics can use naturalised scripting methods and integrate this into everyday discussions. Autistics might hold back and observe situations and context, then try to copy it either through imitative play or in direct social situations.

Autistics that are struggling might not want to be noticed, so will hide and blend in. This will lead to some Autistics not contributing much to the conversation and allow others to lead conversations.

This can be misunderstood and Autistics might then be considered shy or reclusive, rather than the truth, which is that some Autistics are struggling to fully understand certain situations and are having difficulties expressing emotions.

Some Autistics will take on the persona of other people, like You Tubers or screen/book characters. Some Autistics are like a chameleon blending into many situations the struggles going unseen.

 

 

3. What happens after long term masking?
Masking is a suppression of the true feelings that Autistics experience in life situations. Masking can lead to Autistics being wrongly diagnosed with mental health difficulties because Autism is not considered.

Autistics become exhausted from masking, which can lead to small episodes of burnout. This then leads to Autistics having long term intense burnout, which can result in self harm and at worst suicidal ideation and attempted suicide (this might not apply to all).
Adulthood might lead to Autistics feeling a sense of losing one’s self, feeling more socially isolated, like no one knows the Autistics real self. This can lead to Autistics feeling that further masking is the only way and the disconnection from themselves continues.

Suppression for some Autistics can be felt as though nothing in life sits right or not having a sense of belonging anywhere.

This can lead to self medication, self harm, heightened anxiety, depression, confusion, anger and mental exhaustion (this might not apply to all Autistics).

 

 

 

 Girls Autistic Journey~

 

 

Suppressing Meltdowns

I think many Autistics

(all genders) in some situations can’t always show their feelings, or are not even totally aware how they really  feel at that point.

Many Autistics need Processing time so having to make quick decisions is very stressful, then after processing the decision that we made, we might feel it was the incorrect decision this can lead to frustration 

 

4B6AF97E-8A8D-4E1F-A4D9-0F0DE39BB576Building more stress, please allow Autistics Processing time don’t just suddenly push decision making onto Autistics.

 

Autistic meltdowns all have reasons and relate to experiences.

Girls Autistic Journey~

Overwhelming feelings

1A3A984F-974A-4CFE-B627-6FF5C3B118A6
Picture Credit~ make Daisy chains 

For years I have had moments in my life when everything just feels totally overwhelming. My mind hurts, body every inch of me is absorbed in this feeling. I was told by multiple GP’s it’s depression, but I didn’t feel that fitted. I wasn’t low I felt totally spent like all energy had gone.

Then I read about Autistic burn out!

Autistics (some not all) have ways to conform to so called “social norms” I realised this is what I was doing(with out knowing), taking on people’s persona mimicking them to fit in. This causes Autistic burn out, it takes so much mental energy.

But here is the rub – even though I now look “normal” even though I am autistic, it is too exhausting to maintain. I am noticing across my life that whenever I learned a new skill, the bar was set higher and I was, from that point forward, expected to always have that skill available and to use it even if using the skill depleted ongoing large amounts of personal resources(Judy Endow)

Autistic burnout is when you have no resources left all your ability to manage life becomes impossible. Finally I found what truly explained how I felt. I have to have total rest limit interaction, recharge build up the resources again.

I do not have a mental disorder, I am Autistic and need to understand myself, and allow myself to recover and recharge.

 

This feeling will pass I have to remember that.

 

Girls Autistic Journey~

 

Feeling anxious

F29E32E3-583B-412E-8A46-BF3E8D2EDF11
Picture Credit~ make Daisy chains

Feeling anxious is a horrible feeling, and can show it’s self in many different ways. I definitely find anxiety makes me feel agitated, short tempered and communicating with people at that point very difficult. My whole body feels uncomfortable, and I can’t focus on people if they are asking me things. But outwardly my body language doesn’t show this. But in my mind everything is scrambled and spinning out of control. Then someone asks me a question or talks to me and SNAP! It pushes me to far. And I can appear to be rude, I really don’t want to be but it’s all just overwhelming.

Autistics I think definitely struggle with this more, as Processing information for some can already be difficult, add on anxious thinking, thoughts, feelings and that is overload. So when someone is expressing these emotions, take a moment to consider could this be that the person is anxious.

 

Girls Autistic Journey~

 

#Autistic #Autisticfemales #Anxious  #understanding